Have you watched the new season of Emily in Paris?
I’m not ashamed to say that I love the show.
And yet, in one of the episodes, I couldn’t help but notice how we're often sold the same version of female empowerment:
The strong, independent woman who needs no one.
No support, no softness, no holding.
And while I understand the intention, something about it feels misaligned.
The more I observe women, the more I feel the opposite is true.
To me, self-empowerment in women looks almost… soft.
Soft on the outside.
Strong on the inside.
Be the softest version of yourself you can tolerate.
And then soften some more.
Just letting the body exhale.
I believe a woman needing to feel held, loved, supported does not make her weak—it makes her regulated. It gives her permission to rest her nervous system, so her strength comes from a grounded place. The kind of strength that doesn’t disappear at night when no one is watching.
I see many women moving through the world in a constant state of tension.
Shoulders lifted toward their ears.
Jaws clenched.
Eyes scanning.
Bodies moving fast, even when there is no urgency.
I see it everywhere; on my daily walks, in cafés, in the way women stand in line.
And it makes me wonder:
What if empowerment didn’t look like holding it all together?
What if it looked like letting yourself be held?
What if the most empowered woman in the room wasn’t the loudest, the toughest, or the most self-sufficient one, but the one whose body felt safe enough to soften?
The difference between a woman who is strong out of necessity, and a woman who is strong because her body knows it is supported.
So if you’ve been feeling tight lately,
if your jaw aches, if your shoulders won’t drop, if your breath feels shallow,
this is your reminder:
You don’t need to prove your strength.
Let yourself soften.
Let yourself be held.
Strength will meet you there.
It always does.
